GiantEvilHead

hman: Peter Murphy - “Cuts You Up”

Tue, 05 Feb 2013 21:25:20 -0500

hman:

Peter Murphy - “Cuts You Up”

Mogwai - Black Spider

Tue, 05 Feb 2013 21:25:14 -0500

Mogwai - Black Spider

Carter The Unstoppable Sex Machine - The Impossible Dream

Tue, 05 Feb 2013 21:25:09 -0500

Carter The Unstoppable Sex Machine - The Impossible Dream

meowkitties: Joy Division - Disorder

Tue, 05 Feb 2013 21:25:02 -0500

meowkitties:

Joy Division - Disorder

kellydeal: The La’s - There She Goes

Tue, 05 Feb 2013 21:24:44 -0500

kellydeal:

The La’s - There She Goes

mudwerks: Lou Reed | Intro/ Sweet Jane Rock ‘n’ Roll Animal

Tue, 05 Feb 2013 21:24:30 -0500

mudwerks:

Lou Reed | Intro/ Sweet Jane

Rock ‘n’ Roll Animal

liberationfrequency: Clint Mansell | Welcome to Lunar...

Tue, 05 Feb 2013 21:24:18 -0500

liberationfrequency:

Clint Mansell | Welcome to Lunar Industries

THIS FILM.

the-songs-that-saved-your-life: The Smiths - This Night Has...

Tue, 05 Feb 2013 21:24:02 -0500

the-songs-that-saved-your-life:

The Smiths - This Night Has Opened My Eyes (The Peel Sessions)

I had this wonderful post written up about sadness and how I’m starting to understand what...

Fri, 14 Sep 2012 12:40:00 -0400

I had this wonderful post written up about sadness and how I’m starting to understand what sadness really is (the combination of death, failure and a host of other of life’s problems) and how its affecting me.

Alas, I was writing it on my phone and managed to lose the post.

So now you get this.

I’m done playing on tumblr for now. I may pick up one of my other unused tumblrs and post eventually, or start a new tumblr in the future but for now I think I have reached my limit with this account.

To the few of you who may be interested you can find me on instagram or Twitter if you look. Or via my gmail.

XOXO

Grandma Jax died today at 0645. She was 64. It was...

Thu, 30 Aug 2012 20:35:00 -0400

Grandma Jax died today at 0645.

She was 64.

It was very peaceful and she didn’t seem to struggle at all (a welcome relief from 5 years ago when her father died). My wife was with her and Lily was asleep in the bed they had set up on the floor. Although it took me less than 15 minutes to get there, I did not arrive in time.

For the past week we have kept a deathwatch at her bedside. Last week she took a dramatic turn for the worse, not getting out of bed except for a few hours Tuesday and only getting out of bed on Wednesday because we had a hospital bed delivered. On Thursday evening we knew the end was close. She rallied a bit on Sunday, staying awake for most of the day and seemingly recognizing each person that spoke to her. She drank a protein drink and had a few spoonfuls of apple sauce; knew Jack by name, reaching out to try and hug him when I leaned him in for a kiss.

Sunday night after she was given her morphine and ativan she never really was lucid again.

Lily was nervous around her, but did give her a kiss and whisper ‘I love you’ in her ear.

This morning I tried to get the kids to the sitter before there was too much commotion but that didn’t work out.

Today has been a long day but it’s mostly been filled with a feeling of relief.

But just as we were about to leave her condo tonight around 9pm, the driver showed up to get the hospital bed. Lily and Jack and I watched him disassemble it and at one point she asked me why Grandma Jax wasn’t in it. I had to tell her that she died. She thought about it a bit and then asked “Is Grandma Jax was dying?”

Not anymore I told her.

My wife and her mother were exceptionally close. But Jax loved Lily and Jack more than anything. She was so sad and angry that she was dying not because her life was ending, but because she wasn’t going to get to spend time with them. I could write pages and pages about things she did for them, about taking Lily out for lunch every Saturday, wanting to see them even when she was miserably exhausted and how she hated to leave our house because she just wanted to be with them.

I know we will get through this eventually, but right now the sadness is crushing.

We love you Jackie.

Photo

Thu, 23 Aug 2012 16:31:50 -0400

Photo

Thu, 23 Aug 2012 16:30:51 -0400

gehart: Moz

Thu, 23 Aug 2012 16:12:12 -0400

gehart:

Moz

The Smiths - You Just Haven’t Earned It Yet, Baby

Thu, 23 Aug 2012 15:55:19 -0400

The Smiths - You Just Haven’t Earned It Yet, Baby

Am I the only person who didn’t know Mike from Breaking Bad was in 48 Hours?

Thu, 23 Aug 2012 02:45:04 -0400

Am I the only person who didn’t know Mike from Breaking Bad was in 48 Hours?

I make no apologies for poor spelling, composition, and picture...

Thu, 23 Aug 2012 02:21:21 -0400

I make no apologies for poor spelling, composition, and picture taking. I’m drunk.

Photo

Thu, 23 Aug 2012 01:46:59 -0400

Photo

Thu, 23 Aug 2012 01:45:42 -0400

I specifically went to the comic store to buy this issue of Doom...

Thu, 23 Aug 2012 01:27:18 -0400

I specifically went to the comic store to buy this issue of Doom Patrol from 1990 for the Smiths quote.

This is what unmotivated looks like.

Thu, 23 Aug 2012 01:25:24 -0400

This is what unmotivated looks like.